I'm sitting here after watching The Oprah Winfrey Show......crying. Tyler Perry was on her show today and he told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about his childhood, his father, how he was molested and sexually abused by several different people. Some of it hit home for me because I was raised in a abusive household. My dad used to beat my mom. I can't say how often but it was often enough. Too often for me.
I was a little girl and it was nothing I could do but listen and cry and pray. Typing this now I'm beginning to cry because I remember the pain. I remember how scared I was. How much I wish I could have went far, far away but there was nothing I could do but listen and cry and pray. It didn't take much to set my dad off, it could be anything or nothing at all and he would go into this rage and just yell and scream and beat on my mother.
I would sit in my bedroom in my bed and just listen and cry and pray. Praying that God would make it all go away...but it didn't. This continued for years, I remember a period of about 6 years I dealt with this life. A life of abuse until one day my mom finally said enough was enough and she hit him back. I don't know what took my mom so long to fight back, I really don't. She was a full figured woman like many southern black women back then and my dad was a skinny lil thing. Not big at all but somehow was able to whoop on my momma without a problem at all. I realize now that it's because she feared him and it was her fear that crippled her.
On this one night, my mom feared him no more and she swung her fist and hit him back so hard that he flung over top of the sofa and landed onto the coffee table on the other side and broke it in half with the weight and force of his body landing on it. Now mind you this was back in the day so this coffee table wasn't like the cheap ones they make now. This was the real deal, real wood and real thick and that table was broken in two. He laid there, in shock. He couldn't believe my mother had actually hit him back. And I tell you, he DID NOT move. My mom grabbed my hand and said let's go.
We left that house that night and went to my Aunt's. My mom was done with it. She was done with him and the abuse, the drinking, the yelling, all of it. She was sick and tired of being sick and tired. She went to the police station the next day to file a police report and I think a restraining order. I never stayed in that house with my father again. He left, moved out and went to stay with his mom and that's where he lived until he died.
It took me a loooooong time before I was able to forgive my father for what he had done not only to my mother but to me and my sister. He had made our life a living hell. The day after my dad left and I came home from school knowing he wouldn't be there....I was the happiest girl on earth. So glad that I didn't have to endure the abuse anymore. I could be a kid again and be happy like other kids were to go home.
I finally did forgive my father long before he passed away and I'm so happy that I did. I love my dad and I know he caused us pain because he himself was in pain. I am as strong as I am today because of what I had to endure as a child and even though it was a awful time in my life I still thank god for it because it is part of who makes me who I am.
Tyler Perry's story was amazing. I admire him even more now than I did before. Tyler Perry's story showed me that you have to be careful what you say about people and how you judge them because you never know what it is that they have been through. Life is a struggle and we all have to fight our own battles. I am just glad that I fought mine to the bitter end. I didn't let it have control over me.
Fear has always been something I've had extreme difficulty overcoming. I think it stems back to my childhood because I was very fearful of my dad but there was nothing I can do but listen and cry and pray and I did just that and it got me through. Thank you Tyler Perry for sharing your truth. That was very cleansing to you, I believe and I'm sure it was the same to others watching. You were so brave to talk about it and it has allowed me to purge a little bit of my situation out of me. God Bless!
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